What is the # 1 thing that causes conflict in couples‘ relationships?
Our childhood wounds.
We all have them.
Some are more healed than others. Some are more unconscious than others.
I have worked with so many beautiful couples whose wounded selves are still running the show and they do not even realize it. When the perspective is viewed through a wounded lens, we can become defensive and reactive in our relationships.
So how do we acknowledge these wounds? How do we move on from defensive and reactive to understanding and compassion?
There are a few steps for changing the power of these childhood wounds to move from reactivity and hurt to understanding and compassion:
- Awareness is the first step to changing this pattern. When you become aware that your childhood wounds are causing you to be reactive in your relationship you are part way there!
- Find a counselor or coach who can help you heal those wounds. You deserve to be free of them.
- Make part of your focus be your appreciation of your own and your partner’s strengths and special ways. You fell in love with each other because of the great qualities you both have. Appreciation of yourself and each other
With support, these steps become clear and very helpful in moving towards more ease in your relationship. You’ll be on your way to healing these wounds and building the relationship you deserve.
If you want to hear more about this, comment below or reach out via email: cynthia@centerforinnerpeace.net
Cynthia Grace Luma is the founder of Center for Inner Peace. As a a holistic psychotherapist and a relationship coach, she’s been assisting clients for five decades to create the lives they want and to find more inner peace and joy. Unlock the secrets to meaningful connections with Cynthia’s new book, The Relationship You Want, How to be Seen, Heard and Understood in the Most Meaningful Relationships in Your Life.
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This is so true!