Our childhood wounds.
We all have them.
Some are more healed than others. Some are more unconscious than others.
I have worked with so many beautiful couples whose wounded selves are still running the show and they do not even realize it. When the perspective is viewed through a wounded lens, we can become defensive and reactive in our relationships. When we look at the pattern with compassion, it opens up the possibility for healing and greater peace.
So how do we acknowledge these wounds? How do we move on from defensive and reactive to understanding and compassion?
There are a few steps for changing the power of these childhood wounds to move from reactivity and hurt to understanding and compassion:
1. The first thing to changing this pattern is becoming aware. Pay attention to where you ae reactive. When you become aware that your childhood wounds are causing you to be reactive in your relationship you are part way there!
2. You deserve to be free of the pain caused by early trauma and any current reactivity to it.
My favorite ways of quieting down the reactivity and pain caused by trauma are NLP (Neurolinguistic Programming) Hypnosis and EMDR (Eye Movement, Desensitization and Reprogramming), all very powerful ways of working to decrease the effect of trauma.
3. As you’re doing this work, make part of your focus be your appreciation of your own and your partner’s strengths and special ways. You fell in love with each other because of the great qualities you both have. An appreciation of yourself and each other while you’re doing this work, helps bring more balance and peace so the change work can go more smoothy and effectively.
With support, these steps become clear and very helpful in moving towards more ease in your relationship. You’ll be on your way to healing these wounds and building the relationship you deserve.
If you want to explore more about how this can work for you, email me at: cynthia@centerforinnerpeace.net
